Can You Marry Yourself?
Can You Marry Yourself?
Your Guide to Self-
Solemnization
When most of us picture a wedding ceremony, we imagine a couple, maybe some family and friends, and an officiant leading all of the proceedings. But did you know that in some states, you can just marry yourselves, no officiant needed? That’s right, when you are asking can you marry yourself, you are asking about something called self-solemnization, and here’s everything you need to know!
What is Self-Solemnization?
Self-solemnization is when the couple gets married without the presence of a third-party officiant. Simply put, this is a wedding ceremony that you do yourself. You can have whatever type of ceremony you want, sign your wedding license yourselves, and that’s it. You’re officially married!
Reasons to Self-Solemnize
There are many reasons why a couple might want to self-solemnize, but all of them really come down to one thing. This is your day, and you should be able to celebrate it exactly how you want!
Maybe you want to get married on top of a mountain. Or over an intimate meal at home. Or while jumping out of an airplane. Whatever your perfect day looks like, if the idea of an officiant doesn’t fit into your vision, self-solemnization might be for you.
Some of the top reasons why a couple might want to officiate their own wedding:
- Want to say their vows privately just to each other
- Plan to do an adventurous activity together that an officiant may not be able to participate in
- Don’t want to be held to a strict timeline for their day
- Prefer to have a non-traditional ceremony
- You are badass and just want to do things your way!
“BLOWN AWAY! Those are the words I feel best describe our wedding experience with Adam Amit. To say that Adam made the whole process a breeze would be an understatement!” – April & Devon
Which States Can You Marry Yourself?
Self-solemnization is not recognized in certain states, so it’s important to know which states recognize what.
Note that state regulations regarding marriage sometimes change, so always be sure to double-check with your state.
Can You Marry Yourself in Colorado and Washington D.C.?
Yes!! Colorado and Washington D.C are the two places where you don’t have to ask if you can officiate your own wedding, because yes, the answer is you can marry yourself without restriction! Not only do you not need an officiant, you don’t need any witnesses or any special circumstances. You can just pick up a standard marriage license, sign it, and you’re officially married. No questions asked. Cheers to that!
Colorado also just happens to be my home base and among my favorite places in the world to shoot elopements. When people ask can you marry yourself, a lot of times they end up in Colorado because the answer is yes in CO, and it’s also one of the most beautiful places to do it! Check out all the reasons why!
Can You Marry Yourself in Wisconsin?
Yes! Wisconsin also allows self-solemnization, with the caveat that you must sign an extra form stating that your marriage may not be recognized in all cases.
Can You Marry Yourself in Pennsylvania?
Yes! Pennsylvania does not require you to have an officiant, but you will need 2 witnesses to sign your marriage license.
Can You Marry Yourself In Nevada, Kansas and Maine?
Yes, however these three states technically allow self-solemnization, but only if you identify as part of the Quaker (also known as Friends) religion and get married according to their traditions. See each state’s individual laws for more detail on these requirements.
Can You Marry Yourself in California?
Yes! California has a “non-clergy” marriage license option which does not require an officiant, but does still require two witness signatures.
Want A Free Guide to Plan Your Elopement?
This Guide and Checklist was created to make your life a whole lot easier – so you can just focus on being present and enjoying the moment!
Download the Ultimate Elopement Planning Guide and Checklist
“First off, let me start by saying this: for those who are looking for a photographer who will bring literal magic to your special day, stop scrolling, and book him NOW. Adam is your guy. This man has so much passion for what he does – from capturing your day exactly how you want it, to making you comfortable in front of the camera, to making sure everything is perfect for YOU, to simply being the kindest, bestest, awesomest addition to your wedding” — Julie & Tassia
Can You Marry Yourself – Frequently Asked Questions
As with anything that’s outside the norm, couples tend to have a lot of questions about how it works to officiate your own wedding. Don’t worry – I’ve got you! And if you have questions that aren’t answered below, feel free to reach out!
Is This Really a Legit Marriage?
Absolutely! If you get married in a state where self-solemnization is legal, your marriage is just as valid as it is for those who had a traditional wedding. In most states your marriage certificate will be exactly the same as everyone else’s, and there is zero distinction between a self-solemnized wedding and a traditional one.
Will My Marriage Be Recognized in My State?
Yes. All states in the US recognize marriages that were legally performed in another state, they don’t specifically ask can you marry yourself and then discriminate based on that. If you have a legal marriage license, it’ll be recognized in all 50 states!
Can Guests come to my Self-Solemnization?
HECK YES! Guests can absolutely come to your solemnization ceremony! In fact, you can have an unordained friend or family member lead your self-solemnization if you want.
What’s the difference between self-solemnizing and a commitment ceremony?
A commitment ceremony is a non legally bound wedding ceremony. It can include friend, family, an officiant, or also be a self-solemnize ceremony. The key difference is that a commitment ceremony is not legal. For more information check out the blog below:
Are Marriage Licenses the same for couples who self-solemnize?
You betchya! States that allow self-solemnization normally have the same marriage license and procedures as a wedding ceremony that has an officiant. Always double check with the state first though.
“If you are looking for that magical elopement with 0 stress and beautiful pictures, Adam is the way to go! He made our special day the absolute best day i could’ve asked for. in our case a literally winter wonderland. i couldn’t thank him and his company enough. truly deserves more then 5 stars in my opinion.” – Jacey & Cori
See Elopements Where Couples Self-Solemnized
What Are Some Activities I Can Do At My Self-Officiated Wedding?
When you marry yourself you still have lots of options for what you can do on your wedding day! Here’s a list of options:
1. Read your own vows
2. Hand-fasting ceremony
3. Mix Sand
4. Plant a tree or plant
5. Read notes from loved ones
6. Watch videos from loved ones
7. Paint and smush your art together
8. Read your favorite passages together
9. Sing or play music.
There are so many creative ways to have a non-traditional wedding. There truly is no rulebook for elopements, and every single one is different. That’s one of the best things about elopements and something I tell my Amores all the time. It’s all about YOU!
Can I Have Witnesses Even if They Are Not Required?
Yes! Just because witnesses are not required doesn’t mean that you can’t add them to your marriage license. Depending on the state, you can add 1, 2, or even more witnesses to your marriage license. And because they are not technically required you don’t need to follow the usual rules (that they are over 18, or even human ? ). That’s right – you may be able to have children or even pets sign!
In Colorado, for example, one of my favorite things is to have couples add their fur baby as a witness (just bring an ink pad so they can stamp their paw). ?
“He immediately felt like a old friend that we were comfortable around so the stress of a stranger melted quickly. We needed a little guidance and advice since it was just the two of us and he was right there to help. He was very encouraging and made us feel like rockstars. Our pictures turned out even better than I imagined!” – Christine and Bo
What If My State Requires Witnesses and I Don’t Want to Include Guests?
There are many ways to get around the witness requirement if you don’t have guests for your elopement. For one, your elopement photographer can always sign as one witness. If you are hiking or participating in another outdoor activity, you can usually find a fellow adventurer on the trail to sign. People love weddings. Complete strangers will be stoked to share in your special day. You may even make some new friends!
And don’t forget that other vendors that may participate in your day like drivers, hair and makeup artists, or guides can also be witnesses.
If your ceremony location is truly remote, you can always plan to visit a more populated area at some point during the day to recruit some witnesses. Have fun with it!
What If I Want a Private Ceremony, But Don’t Live In/Can’t Travel to a State the Allows Self-Solemnization?
Even if you aren’t eloping in a state that has self-solemnization, you can still have a private ceremony. One popular option is to have a quick official ceremony at a county courthouse or clerk’s office in your state either before or after your adventure elopement. That way, you don’t have to worry about any of the legal details and can just enjoy your day in whatever way you want.
Many couples also plan a small gathering with family or friends after their elopement to celebrate, so this may be an opportunity to include an officiant and witnesses to make it “official.”
The Bottom Line
Wedding culture is so ingrained in our society that it’s easy to get hung up on the details, especially when it comes to what traditions you may or may not follow. Or what other people think about those plans. But here’s the thing: This is your day. You deserve to have everything exactly how you want it and get married in the way that’s most authentic to you. So if you are asking can you marry yourself, because your dream day does not include an officiant, the answer is emphatically yes!
At the end of the day, your love is what really matters. Not when, where or how you got that piece of paper!
Meet Your Self-Solemnizing Photographer
Hi there! I’m Adam. Elopements are my thing and helping couples make their dreams come true is what puts a smile on my face.
I can help you figure out the best elopement package and help you plan the day of your dreams. If you are excited about creating your perfect day or have questions about eloping or self-officiating reach out. I can’t wait to hear from you!
Want A Free Guide to Plan Your Elopement?
This Guide and Checklist was created to make your life a whole lot easier – so you can just focus on being present and enjoying the moment!
